who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Are we still banned from the library?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize