This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
