im having a threesome with these popsicles
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize