all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
no you cant smoke seaweed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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