The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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