I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
