apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
