So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
