The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i would punch a child for taco bell
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
