I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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