Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
