Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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