evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
