maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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