tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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