So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
