I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
