i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize