Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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