Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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