So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
