I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
