I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
