it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic