She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
