everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
