Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
