but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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