Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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