You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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