i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
