i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
