I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.