Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
did you just send me my own nude
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.