so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
