i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
