I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
