So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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