Who did Billy Mays play for?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
