god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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