Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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