dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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