We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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