Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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