Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
