I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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