he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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