She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
