they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize