Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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