Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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