True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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