Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
