I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
