Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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