you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't put those talents on a resume
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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