i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
